2012 Round Up!


Wow… I cannot believe that it’s already the last week of the year. Seriously, I would like to know who stole 12 whole months of my life? It’s been a really long year and a lot has happened. I’m going to try to give a rapid overview of  it all…

We were still living in Kentucky this time last year after our move from Georgia. I just have to say that Kentucky was NOT my favorite place to live.

Kentucky

Kentucky (Photo credit: davebarger)

Of course January was fraught with worry and stress as we tried to decide what we wanted to do. We could not afford to live in our house any longer, and the prepayment on our rent was up. So, we made the choice to move to Indiana with friends – and did so the first of February.

It has been exceedingly interesting, living this far North. I’ve always been a southern girl and this is a far cry from the warm and sunny South! We arrived to a couple of inches of snow on the ground from a snowfall a week before we got here… dang – we were concerned if it lasted until noon when and IF we got some in Georgia!

Our first few weeks here were an adjustment period for sure – trying to fit all of us in the same house was definitely a new experience. Our five and their six made for eleven in one place – two shy of classifying as a boarding house (which coincidentally is illegal without a licence and at least 3 bathrooms). But we lost two, and gained  a bedroom in April – which was a very good thing because sleeping on an air-mattress with three dogs – not so wonderful. Not to mention the cat… yeah.

We made the decision to get married this year… after 10 years of being together. Kind of a change for me because I wasn’t sure I really wanted to actually “tie the knot” again – but we started planning. If you think wedding planning is stressful – try doing it with two special needs kids and no money… what a wild time.

We also enrolled Little Man in school for the first time in over a year. I was so apprehensive about it – he has never done well in school, it’s always been a trigger point for him, and I was so worried that he would not do well. However, it has proven to be the best thing we could have done, ever. Also – it made me wish we had made the move to Indiana a couple of years ago!

I think I mentioned at some point in a much earlier post this year, that Our Guy decided against staying with us and moved back to Florida with is bio-mom. He has not done well in that endeavor and is now living in a homeless shelter down there.

Little Man has made so much progress since Our Guy has been gone that it’s becoming more and more evident that we made the right choice in letting him go his own way. We and his therapist are exploring the possibility that we may very well have transported one of his chief abusers right along with him when he came to live with us. Scary freaking thought… but as long as LM is making good progress, we’re not rocking the boat.

Of course we had to deal with the drama of Our Girl – and hooboy was there some major drama. So much that she wound up getting thrown out of the house, moving in with a guy she knew for just a few days, AND getting pregnant by choice all in the span of less than 6 months. Oh please just kill me now.

So, now we have a pregnant 19 year old bi-polar, hormone walking around the house. And to top it all of “baby daddy” turned out to be the biggest loser, and y’all not in a good way. In the 4 months we allowed him to stay in our house he worked a total of 3 days. Not even kidding here. So – he’s down the road and she’s not even 6mo. pregnant yet.

Which brings me to my next point – she’s already got a new boyfriend. Yeah… I know – kind of odd right? I thought so too – but hell she’s 19 what can you do about it? If you forbid it, she’s just going to leave. So we just deal. And we hope beyond everything that she and the baby are healthy and happy and safe.

Historic Dentzel Carousel

Historic Dentzel Carousel

We had our wedding in September at a historic carousel here in our town – it’s one of only four left in existence – and it’s amazing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mom and Dad with the greats!

Mom and Dad with the greats!

It was even more special because my parents got to meet their great grandchildren for the first time… My mom was in heaven!

 

 

 

 

It was an amazingly wonderful day and I was so grateful and blessed to be able to make it happen!

 

 

 

Sigh… the last part of this year was kind of a letdown after all the excitement! LOL

Actually, Little Man brought home his report card a few weeks ago – three C’s… nothing failing, all wonderful! Yet, he was complaining that it wasn’t good enough. We try so hard to instill some self-esteem into this boy, but he doesn’t care to hear it and is not impressed by our efforts. It wasn’t until my nephew told him that he had actually made better grades than he did that Little Man kind of calmed down.

So this pretty much brings us to the close of 2012. What are my hopes for 2013? Well, I guess you’ll have to stop by tomorrow to find out when I post my 2013 goals and hopes. 🙂

Happy Saturday!

Our Girl – revisited


So, ya’ll… wow. It’s been ages since I’ve really posted about any of the kids. And lately, it’s been so hectic that I can’t post about anything.

However, today I am going to post about Our Girl -well, because things have kind of taken a turn and I don’t know if it’s for the worst or for the better – I just don’t know anything anymore…

Our girl is now 19 and guys it’s one of the hardest teen to adult transition I’ve ever dealt with. So far I’ve had three teens turn into adults (Ky, Jon, and Jack) and the DH has Sean. We’ve weathered the storms quite well I think and they’ve all turned in to reasonably responsible adults. But Our Girl? She took this transition to heart. She’s an adult now. Meaning in her mind that she can do what she wants when she wants regardless of how anyone else in the house feels about it.

Eight months ago she wound up being thrown out because she was totally and completely off the chain when it came to her dad and I. She was rude, disrespectful, insolent, and mean. We couldn’t take it anymore – so to teach her a lesson, the dh’s brother took her down to the local homeless shelter – with her little dog in tow. Of course, Uncle T knew that the shelter wouldn’t take dogs and figured she walk off her mad and come on home. Nope, not our girl. She wandered around for a bit until some guy stopped and asked her if she was okay, and if she needed a ride. She took him up on it! Yes, I know guys – we have tried for years to instill in her a general suspicion of strangers – but she’s unable to be suspect of anyone. We could drop this child out of an airplane with parachute at 20,000 feet over New York city and she’d have 20 friends before she hit the ground!

Anyway… this fella apparently worked out at our riding stables – known around here as the ranch. He took her out there to check it out, then returned her to town. After spending a couple of days with her dad’s cousin – she went back out to the ranch for an “interview” as a hand.

They worked her for a week or two and in the meantime she started a relationship and moved in with guy who picked her up off the street – we’ll call him “E”. Now mind you, this child still  has no GED or diploma – she just won’t do anything to make that happen. We tried desperately to talk her into going to Job Corp to get her GED and some training – but she refused, saying she’d take the test, but wanted to stay at the ranch. So… we told her – if you’re leaving fine – but don’t come back without your GED.

Things seemed okay for her – she was working, and now living at the ranch and seemed happy.

Then in September, she got fired – probably because she was way better at watching E work than she was actually working herself – or it could have been her generally nasty attitude. Who knows? We rarely get the ‘truth’ behind anything. Because she was fired, she was not allowed to live out there anymore – so in all of his infinite wisdom (as a 27 year old man – yeah, I didn’t think it was awesome either) he decided that if she couldn’t be there – he wouldn’t either and quit! Lord help me! So guess who comes trailing back home with boyfriend in tow?? Yup, Our Girl. We agreed to let them crash for a few days until they got their pay from the ranch which according to them was close to $1000. Plenty to get them on their feet. When the check came it was for $100. We told them that while we understood that they were in hard times – they had a week to figure it out and move on – she wasn’t even supposed to BE here without her GED.

Just a couple of days later we were informed that she was pregnant.

Ummmm yeah, let that sink in ya’ll… pregnant

Not an accident either – they planned it, because an apartment over a barn full of 3000 lb death traps is exactly  the place to raise a baby. Actually, as she says, they had been promised a job and apartment elsewhere. Oh really??? So you make the choice to have a baby with a man you’ve known less than 6 months on the promise of a job and apartment?? Oh my Heavenly Father, Help Me!!!!! Where did we go wrong?

So… we agreed to let them stay here until E could find work and save for an apartment. Four months went by – and during that time E worked 3 days… yep, 3 whole days. Finally, with us breathing down her neck and his – she decided to kick him to the curb for the useless piece of trash he was.

So, now I have a pregnant bi-polar daughter sleeping on my couch – who still has all the attitude she had before, coupled with hormones of pregnancy. We’re trying to get her into housing so she can learn how to live on her own. We’re working with her to get her GED, and we are doing the only thing we can do – support our child through what will turn out to be the most difficult time of her life.

This has not been easy for us – we’re a bit angry because there were no adult thought processes used in the decision to bring this baby into the world – it was a selfish bid for what she wanted. We are sad because we know that the chances of her realizing all those big dreams she had this time last year have just dropped exponentially. We are excited because we’re going to have another grand child – number 4! And we are hopeful that she’s able to put aside her selfishness and concentrate on her baby.

Say a prayer for the Set in my Ways family – it’s a long hard road for us!