2012 Round Up!

Wow… I cannot believe that it’s already the last week of the year. Seriously, I would like to know who stole 12 whole months of my life? It’s been a really long year and a lot has happened. I’m going to try to give a rapid overview of  it all…

We were still living in Kentucky this time last year after our move from Georgia. I just have to say that Kentucky was NOT my favorite place to live.


Kentucky (Photo credit: davebarger)

Of course January was fraught with worry and stress as we tried to decide what we wanted to do. We could not afford to live in our house any longer, and the prepayment on our rent was up. So, we made the choice to move to Indiana with friends – and did so the first of February.

It has been exceedingly interesting, living this far North. I’ve always been a southern girl and this is a far cry from the warm and sunny South! We arrived to a couple of inches of snow on the ground from a snowfall a week before we got here… dang – we were concerned if it lasted until noon when and IF we got some in Georgia!

Our first few weeks here were an adjustment period for sure – trying to fit all of us in the same house was definitely a new experience. Our five and their six made for eleven in one place – two shy of classifying as a boarding house (which coincidentally is illegal without a licence and at least 3 bathrooms). But we lost two, and gained  a bedroom in April – which was a very good thing because sleeping on an air-mattress with three dogs – not so wonderful. Not to mention the cat… yeah.

We made the decision to get married this year… after 10 years of being together. Kind of a change for me because I wasn’t sure I really wanted to actually “tie the knot” again – but we started planning. If you think wedding planning is stressful – try doing it with two special needs kids and no money… what a wild time.

We also enrolled Little Man in school for the first time in over a year. I was so apprehensive about it – he has never done well in school, it’s always been a trigger point for him, and I was so worried that he would not do well. However, it has proven to be the best thing we could have done, ever. Also – it made me wish we had made the move to Indiana a couple of years ago!

I think I mentioned at some point in a much earlier post this year, that Our Guy decided against staying with us and moved back to Florida with is bio-mom. He has not done well in that endeavor and is now living in a homeless shelter down there.

Little Man has made so much progress since Our Guy has been gone that it’s becoming more and more evident that we made the right choice in letting him go his own way. We and his therapist are exploring the possibility that we may very well have transported one of his chief abusers right along with him when he came to live with us. Scary freaking thought… but as long as LM is making good progress, we’re not rocking the boat.

Of course we had to deal with the drama of Our Girl – and hooboy was there some major drama. So much that she wound up getting thrown out of the house, moving in with a guy she knew for just a few days, AND getting pregnant by choice all in the span of less than 6 months. Oh please just kill me now.

So, now we have a pregnant 19 year old bi-polar, hormone walking around the house. And to top it all of “baby daddy” turned out to be the biggest loser, and y’all not in a good way. In the 4 months we allowed him to stay in our house he worked a total of 3 days. Not even kidding here. So – he’s down the road and she’s not even 6mo. pregnant yet.

Which brings me to my next point – she’s already got a new boyfriend. Yeah… I know – kind of odd right? I thought so too – but hell she’s 19 what can you do about it? If you forbid it, she’s just going to leave. So we just deal. And we hope beyond everything that she and the baby are healthy and happy and safe.

Historic Dentzel Carousel

Historic Dentzel Carousel

We had our wedding in September at a historic carousel here in our town – it’s one of only four left in existence – and it’s amazing.










Mom and Dad with the greats!

Mom and Dad with the greats!

It was even more special because my parents got to meet their great grandchildren for the first time… My mom was in heaven!





It was an amazingly wonderful day and I was so grateful and blessed to be able to make it happen!




Sigh… the last part of this year was kind of a letdown after all the excitement! LOL

Actually, Little Man brought home his report card a few weeks ago – three C’s… nothing failing, all wonderful! Yet, he was complaining that it wasn’t good enough. We try so hard to instill some self-esteem into this boy, but he doesn’t care to hear it and is not impressed by our efforts. It wasn’t until my nephew told him that he had actually made better grades than he did that Little Man kind of calmed down.

So this pretty much brings us to the close of 2012. What are my hopes for 2013? Well, I guess you’ll have to stop by tomorrow to find out when I post my 2013 goals and hopes. 🙂

Happy Saturday!

Our Girl – revisited

So, ya’ll… wow. It’s been ages since I’ve really posted about any of the kids. And lately, it’s been so hectic that I can’t post about anything.

However, today I am going to post about Our Girl -well, because things have kind of taken a turn and I don’t know if it’s for the worst or for the better – I just don’t know anything anymore…

Our girl is now 19 and guys it’s one of the hardest teen to adult transition I’ve ever dealt with. So far I’ve had three teens turn into adults (Ky, Jon, and Jack) and the DH has Sean. We’ve weathered the storms quite well I think and they’ve all turned in to reasonably responsible adults. But Our Girl? She took this transition to heart. She’s an adult now. Meaning in her mind that she can do what she wants when she wants regardless of how anyone else in the house feels about it.

Eight months ago she wound up being thrown out because she was totally and completely off the chain when it came to her dad and I. She was rude, disrespectful, insolent, and mean. We couldn’t take it anymore – so to teach her a lesson, the dh’s brother took her down to the local homeless shelter – with her little dog in tow. Of course, Uncle T knew that the shelter wouldn’t take dogs and figured she walk off her mad and come on home. Nope, not our girl. She wandered around for a bit until some guy stopped and asked her if she was okay, and if she needed a ride. She took him up on it! Yes, I know guys – we have tried for years to instill in her a general suspicion of strangers – but she’s unable to be suspect of anyone. We could drop this child out of an airplane with parachute at 20,000 feet over New York city and she’d have 20 friends before she hit the ground!

Anyway… this fella apparently worked out at our riding stables – known around here as the ranch. He took her out there to check it out, then returned her to town. After spending a couple of days with her dad’s cousin – she went back out to the ranch for an “interview” as a hand.

They worked her for a week or two and in the meantime she started a relationship and moved in with guy who picked her up off the street – we’ll call him “E”. Now mind you, this child still  has no GED or diploma – she just won’t do anything to make that happen. We tried desperately to talk her into going to Job Corp to get her GED and some training – but she refused, saying she’d take the test, but wanted to stay at the ranch. So… we told her – if you’re leaving fine – but don’t come back without your GED.

Things seemed okay for her – she was working, and now living at the ranch and seemed happy.

Then in September, she got fired – probably because she was way better at watching E work than she was actually working herself – or it could have been her generally nasty attitude. Who knows? We rarely get the ‘truth’ behind anything. Because she was fired, she was not allowed to live out there anymore – so in all of his infinite wisdom (as a 27 year old man – yeah, I didn’t think it was awesome either) he decided that if she couldn’t be there – he wouldn’t either and quit! Lord help me! So guess who comes trailing back home with boyfriend in tow?? Yup, Our Girl. We agreed to let them crash for a few days until they got their pay from the ranch which according to them was close to $1000. Plenty to get them on their feet. When the check came it was for $100. We told them that while we understood that they were in hard times – they had a week to figure it out and move on – she wasn’t even supposed to BE here without her GED.

Just a couple of days later we were informed that she was pregnant.

Ummmm yeah, let that sink in ya’ll… pregnant

Not an accident either – they planned it, because an apartment over a barn full of 3000 lb death traps is exactly  the place to raise a baby. Actually, as she says, they had been promised a job and apartment elsewhere. Oh really??? So you make the choice to have a baby with a man you’ve known less than 6 months on the promise of a job and apartment?? Oh my Heavenly Father, Help Me!!!!! Where did we go wrong?

So… we agreed to let them stay here until E could find work and save for an apartment. Four months went by – and during that time E worked 3 days… yep, 3 whole days. Finally, with us breathing down her neck and his – she decided to kick him to the curb for the useless piece of trash he was.

So, now I have a pregnant bi-polar daughter sleeping on my couch – who still has all the attitude she had before, coupled with hormones of pregnancy. We’re trying to get her into housing so she can learn how to live on her own. We’re working with her to get her GED, and we are doing the only thing we can do – support our child through what will turn out to be the most difficult time of her life.

This has not been easy for us – we’re a bit angry because there were no adult thought processes used in the decision to bring this baby into the world – it was a selfish bid for what she wanted. We are sad because we know that the chances of her realizing all those big dreams she had this time last year have just dropped exponentially. We are excited because we’re going to have another grand child – number 4! And we are hopeful that she’s able to put aside her selfishness and concentrate on her baby.

Say a prayer for the Set in my Ways family – it’s a long hard road for us!

Happy Easter

I just wanted to post a quick weekend wrap up! I’ve been concentrating on the  A-Z April Blogging Challenge all week and thought a quick personal post would be nice for a change.

Things have been wonderful this week – I’ve had my grandson, and it has really been special for me. I know my daughter misses him so much, but it is nice to be able to give her a break. I’ll be heading to her place on Friday of this week, and don’t know how long I’ll be staying – until my new grandson makes his appearance in a couple of weeks I’m sure!

We have heard news about Our Guy – and its not good. Apparently there was a mishap, and they were forced to baker act him. He spent a few days in the hospital for stabilization, and now he’s home but on some sort of probation that requires therapy – if he misses any of his appointments he could go to jail. We’re not pleased, nor are we surprised. We warned his bio mom that there would be problems, and that she would likely not be able to control him if he had a meltdown, and we were correct. But, this is what he has chosen for himself, and there is nothing we can do for him, or about his situation.

Our Girl got to go to Chicago with her second cousin and her family, and had a great time, except that it was cold! I told her it was called the windy city for a reason. 🙂 She got to visit an actual museum for the first time – the Field Museum. She really enjoyed herself  and got to spend time with family that she loves. I’m so glad that my husband and his cousin’s kids can begin to foster a close relationship!

Little Man has had a great week, even though he’s suffering from a perceived lack of attention with the baby here. He is jealous, because we have to do so much for the baby – that we won’t do for him. I have to remind him frequently that the baby is only 2 – he’s 16, of course we have to do everything for him…

Well, I guess that’s it for a weekly wrap-up. I hope you all have a truly blessed Easter!

Happy Sunday!

To New Beginnings

Moving sucks… just getting that out there.

Now that the worst is over and we’re securely in a home in Kentucky, I’ve got a lot to do. First I have to get the boys enrolled in school and their insurance changed so that Little Man has his meds.  Then I gotta figure out how to get Our Girl enrolled in GED classes so she can get that out-of-the-way and get a job.  Of course then there is Jon who has to get his ID before he can get work… all this while looking for employment myself.

However, the nice part of this whole move has been that we’ve been so very blessed with things just ‘happening’. Its pretty awesome actually. I made at least 10 calls while we were in the hotel to find a place to live that would accept us with no employment, 3 special needs kids, 5 dogs, and a cat… Yeah… go ahead those of you who are landlords and cringe – I’m your worst freaking nightmare… I know. But there are still people in this world willing to give others a chance – and in a city too! The FIRST phone call Shawn made resulted in a property for us to look at. We came, looked and fell in love. Guys… it has a RED freaking door!

"Our House... in the middle of our street"

We really didn’t think we stood a chance at this place because she had 5 other families WITH jobs, less impaired children, and fewer dogs come look the same day… but just a few hours after coming back to the hotel from looking (and a little down because we really liked this house) we got a phone call… and we.got.it! Yep… out of all the other people they decided to take a chance on us. It cost us an extra months rent to get in – but it was worth it – our rent isn’t due now till January 1 – and I have an AWESOME freaking house! Its 3 bedrooms with a full basement. All of the rooms are HUGE – very unlike southern houses where rooms are tiny. I would say it’s close to 2,000 sq ft.  without the  basement… plenty of room for my little family.

Another blessing? Well.. Shawn just got a job today, and I have had a couple of opportunities present themselves as well. Right now, I’m acting as a “nanny” for my grandson and Little Man… but soon I will rejoin the working world and be one more paycheck closer to getting on our feet.

Well… for now this is all, I have a sweet 2-year-old tugging on my arm saying “c’mon gammy” I think it’s playtime!

Moving Forward

I don’t now who of you out there enjoy’s moving, but I’m here to tell you that I am not one of those people. I have never liked it, and probably never will like it. Now I find myself in the position to move, yet again – across three states to Northern Kentucky!

I’ve been a southern girl all my life – born and raised on the beaches of Florida, the farthest north I’ve ever lived has been the mountains of Western North Carolina… nothing compared to what I’m in for here come winter. I’m hoping I survive the snow and such… *gasp* snow… ick

This move is differing from every other move I’ve ever made in my life – how so, you may ask? Well, because I have nothing to do with the physical “moving” of stuff. I packed important boxes and stuff before I came up here to Kentucky to help my daughter out. So Shawn and the kids are on their own to pack boxes and load the truck.

This. has. been. hard. on. me.

I know a lot of people would be immensely happy if they were able to duck out of the manual labor involved in moving – I should be… but unfortunately, part of me – the terribly OCD, organization freak inside of me is losing it because I’m not there to supervise the packing of each and every box. I won’t be putting my neat little labels on the boxes to announce their contents… I won’t have one bit of say so in which stuff goes where in the truck… I have to let others control this … not something I’m good at – nor fond of.

I guess it’s just one more lesson I’m learning in this new journey – how to “let go” and give control to someone else for a change… I don’t know if I like this particular lesson, but there isn’t anything else to do about it – so I’m going to have to live with it!

More to come, the serious house hunting starts tomorrow! I’ll be sure to update!

Weekly Wrap Up – Sept 12

Well… I survived my birthday without a hitch… I managed to do NOTHING all day and get away with it – even the kids cooked dinner. Except my oldest son Jon forgot that it was my birthday… but that’s not unusual – he’s a man…

So what’s been happening in Set in My Ways land this week? Not  much really… but here’s the wrap up:

  • Our girl seems to be doing rather well with the break up. She hasn’t called A or spoken to him since last Friday… we’re surprised, but very much supportive of her.
  • Our Guy got himself nicely grounded last weekend when he decided to come home 30 minutes late after not calling all day. Not something he’ll want to do again.
  • Our Guy’s birthday comes next Wednesday… I’ve got a nice cake idea for him – Native American! I think he’ll really like it.
  • I heard from everyone on my birthday except my grandmother. She passed wishes through other family… but its not the same. Its also not like she could forget – she was attending the birthday party of my adorable cousin who was born last year on my Birthday…. yeah. Oh well, I’ve always known that side of the family wasn’t the birthday wishes type…
  • This morning – after three months of traitorous living two doors down… the old lady returned. She met me at the door for ear scratches and food this morning!
  • I played around with some of my photos this week look at my grandson:

Check out those baby blues!!!

Happy Sunday!

Baby on Board

Wow, guys – I had forgotten how all consuming having a little one in the house could be! I have not had a moment that he’s not been captivating my attention from the second I laid eyes on him! He slept in my room last night, mommy was tired from the trip – and stress, so we decided to let her sleep in.

JJ and I got up and had breakfast and watched a little Disney channel before the rest of the crew drug themselves out of bed. Our girl was first, prompted by JJ’s loving tugs on her hair… then grandpa got up – and when he did… oh we were in for a treat!

Yep, he and grandpa had a frozen strawberry bar. It was wonderlicious!

It even went very well with our Strawberry milk…

It was all in all an enjoyable morning, we played and hung around until lunch time, and then ate a great lunch and took a nap.

By the time our nap was over, we were raring to go, and mommy was up! The day has been so very wonderful for me. I’m spending time with my grandson – and my daughter! Having her here is just amazing!

We are bunkering in for the weekend now – things will get rolling again on Monday, for now I am going to hang out with this awesome little boy I know…