2012 Round Up!

Wow… I cannot believe that it’s already the last week of the year. Seriously, I would like to know who stole 12 whole months of my life? It’s been a really long year and a lot has happened. I’m going to try to give a rapid overview of  it all…

We were still living in Kentucky this time last year after our move from Georgia. I just have to say that Kentucky was NOT my favorite place to live.


Kentucky (Photo credit: davebarger)

Of course January was fraught with worry and stress as we tried to decide what we wanted to do. We could not afford to live in our house any longer, and the prepayment on our rent was up. So, we made the choice to move to Indiana with friends – and did so the first of February.

It has been exceedingly interesting, living this far North. I’ve always been a southern girl and this is a far cry from the warm and sunny South! We arrived to a couple of inches of snow on the ground from a snowfall a week before we got here… dang – we were concerned if it lasted until noon when and IF we got some in Georgia!

Our first few weeks here were an adjustment period for sure – trying to fit all of us in the same house was definitely a new experience. Our five and their six made for eleven in one place – two shy of classifying as a boarding house (which coincidentally is illegal without a licence and at least 3 bathrooms). But we lost two, and gained  a bedroom in April – which was a very good thing because sleeping on an air-mattress with three dogs – not so wonderful. Not to mention the cat… yeah.

We made the decision to get married this year… after 10 years of being together. Kind of a change for me because I wasn’t sure I really wanted to actually “tie the knot” again – but we started planning. If you think wedding planning is stressful – try doing it with two special needs kids and no money… what a wild time.

We also enrolled Little Man in school for the first time in over a year. I was so apprehensive about it – he has never done well in school, it’s always been a trigger point for him, and I was so worried that he would not do well. However, it has proven to be the best thing we could have done, ever. Also – it made me wish we had made the move to Indiana a couple of years ago!

I think I mentioned at some point in a much earlier post this year, that Our Guy decided against staying with us and moved back to Florida with is bio-mom. He has not done well in that endeavor and is now living in a homeless shelter down there.

Little Man has made so much progress since Our Guy has been gone that it’s becoming more and more evident that we made the right choice in letting him go his own way. We and his therapist are exploring the possibility that we may very well have transported one of his chief abusers right along with him when he came to live with us. Scary freaking thought… but as long as LM is making good progress, we’re not rocking the boat.

Of course we had to deal with the drama of Our Girl – and hooboy was there some major drama. So much that she wound up getting thrown out of the house, moving in with a guy she knew for just a few days, AND getting pregnant by choice all in the span of less than 6 months. Oh please just kill me now.

So, now we have a pregnant 19 year old bi-polar, hormone walking around the house. And to top it all of “baby daddy” turned out to be the biggest loser, and y’all not in a good way. In the 4 months we allowed him to stay in our house he worked a total of 3 days. Not even kidding here. So – he’s down the road and she’s not even 6mo. pregnant yet.

Which brings me to my next point – she’s already got a new boyfriend. Yeah… I know – kind of odd right? I thought so too – but hell she’s 19 what can you do about it? If you forbid it, she’s just going to leave. So we just deal. And we hope beyond everything that she and the baby are healthy and happy and safe.

Historic Dentzel Carousel

Historic Dentzel Carousel

We had our wedding in September at a historic carousel here in our town – it’s one of only four left in existence – and it’s amazing.










Mom and Dad with the greats!

Mom and Dad with the greats!

It was even more special because my parents got to meet their great grandchildren for the first time… My mom was in heaven!





It was an amazingly wonderful day and I was so grateful and blessed to be able to make it happen!




Sigh… the last part of this year was kind of a letdown after all the excitement! LOL

Actually, Little Man brought home his report card a few weeks ago – three C’s… nothing failing, all wonderful! Yet, he was complaining that it wasn’t good enough. We try so hard to instill some self-esteem into this boy, but he doesn’t care to hear it and is not impressed by our efforts. It wasn’t until my nephew told him that he had actually made better grades than he did that Little Man kind of calmed down.

So this pretty much brings us to the close of 2012. What are my hopes for 2013? Well, I guess you’ll have to stop by tomorrow to find out when I post my 2013 goals and hopes. 🙂

Happy Saturday!


A new day…

I got up this morning and was greeted at my bedroom door by two pups… both of course ready for their morning constitutional – which I hate to do before coffee, but I hate cleaning up after them even more… I came downstairs to a fresh pot of coffee and my best friends quietly working away at their computers.

I am truly blessed. My life is full and rich with friends and family surrounding me. I watch my Facebook feed and see the trials and tribulations of those around me, knowing that I’ve been there in most cases, and offer words of encouragement and prayer to those in need.

As I logged in here today, to write I noticed a spike in visits to my little home on the web, and was again truly blessed – someone is reading the words I pour out here, hopefully becoming encouraged, inspired, or at the least smiling.

I am surrounded daily by those who love and respect me, and I cry out at night to God who don’t have that. I pray daily for those in pain and suffering. As I try to more deeply cultivate my relationship with Him, I find myself looking at the pain of others and thanking Him more and more each day for the blessings He has bestowed upon me.

So… on that note – I’m  planning (notice the word planning…) a series of posts, they may be weekly they may be monthly on exactly what lessons I have learned from the events in my life, the things He has taught me, and brought me to understand over the last five years. I hope to encourage others with these posts. I hope you’ll come around and visit and see what’s new!

For all those who are new to my blog, thank you for coming by, thank you for reading… each and every visit means so very much to me!

Happy Thursday,



Yesterday we decided to go on an outing so that I and the kiddos could be introduced to our new home. Now that it’s not freezing outside and we can actually do that sort of thing you know. So we decided to head over to River Bluff Trail and take the dogs on a walk… mind you there are seven of them. Yes I said seven – don’t judge only five of the little buggars are mine. Ok… yes, I have five dogs, but they’re all very small and really only equal one big dog.  Anyway – they needed a good run, and all the humans needed some fresh air and sunshine themselves. So we took a walk. A lovely walk…


A walk that included lots of limestone, and beautiful flowing water….




A walk that also included a dam:











And dogs in the water…

Dogs in my purse…

He was tired... don't judge me!

It also included ducks:

 Ducks who were apparently less  impressed with us than we were with them.

This walk also included trees:

 And more dogs…

Beautiful trees!

I’m not sure what this is – but it was LOVELY!





See how pretty?








And of course the walk included kids… how do you think we handled all those dogs??

Little Man, being goofy!

Our Girl!















Oh yeah – there were flowers too!

And what walk is complete without at least one kid and or dog playing “King/Queen of the mountain”??

King and Queen of the Mountain!

In the end, it was a good day. We all had a great time and the dogs/kids got plenty of exercise… I Loved it!


Post…after post… after post

I’ve tried I don’t know how many times I’ve started a post over the past week and just saved it as a draft and walked away. I think I’ve got the infamous “writers block” or “bloggers block” or whatever… I just know I have a ton of unfinished posts in my list and none of them appeal to me at all. I’m debating on just deleting all the drafts and starting again – but then I go in to read them for possible completion, and they’re all good starts… I don’t want to delete such great words, that meant something when I started – they even had completions lurking at the back of my brain, and then *poof* they were gone in a second.

Partly because I am so frustrated and distracted these days. With Little Man pending on his insurance (again) he’s home all the time – and it just takes so much energy just to have a conversation with him, that I’m unable to form complete thoughts, much less complete sentences. To say that I’m frustrated is putting it mildly.

Today I decided that I would sit down and get something out there today, regardless of how much sense it made or how I felt when I was done. I just wanted to get the words out, hoping to jump start the muse.

Our situation has improved so dramatically, but I still feel like I’m stuck in the same rut… I’m guessing that good fortune and less worry has yet to sink in as reality to me.

Our friends actually sat down with us over coffee the other night and expressed concern that I’m not the same person I was 9 years ago… I have forgotten how to relax and enjoy myself. They’re right… I’ve gotten so entangled in the worries of every day life with Little Man and the other kids that I’ve lost part of myself. I really want to find that part of me again, I’m hoping that writing and getting some of this off my chest will help to do that.

God has blessed us so much in providing us with a wonderful place to live with very special friends who are more like family. These people have been my friends and spiritual mentors for a very long time. I’m so grateful to have them in our lives… I know this is why God closed so many doors and left only this one tiny window (I saw it as tiny) open. I couldn’t understand why He was taking me away from where I really wanted to be (with my daughter and grandson) and putting me somewhere else. But as these last two months have passed I’ve begun to see just why He did this… and I’m truly thankful for it.

He has a plan, I know this – and when He moves I will understand all of it. I know this is the better situation for all of us, we’re no longer just the parents of a special needs child, but we’re people again… people who have friends, and can laugh and enjoy life again… people who are not defined by our children but by who we really are as adults – with real opinions and real lives… Freeing to say the least.

Happy Weekend Ya’ll!

What makes frustration

I’m at a point folks… I’m sure you know the one, the point where you don’t really know just what to do about something – laugh or cry…

The Lord has led me to this place in my life, and I know that He is  now expecting me to use my free will to decide whether or not to laugh and praise Him or cry and beg for mercy. And I don’t know which to do.

You all know that I’ve got three special needs kids… and that I’m their primary caretaker. You may not know that Our Guy took off to live with his bio-mom a couple of months ago, and while I’m proud of him for getting himself on the road he needs to be on and doing what he needed to for himself, I’m a little miffed that he chose to go about it the way he did.

Of course, you all know about Our Girl and our trials and troubles, I’ve talked about that many times. She’s just turned 18 and thinks she not only knows more than I do about live she’s lived the same experiences I have… that doesn’t make for a good situation.

And then there is Little Man, who through no fault of my own has been off his medication for six months and I’ve noticed that there isn’t much difference between ON meds and OFF meds, which means the drug cocktail we had him on wasn’t really the right combination to begin with… Sure there is a little more OCD tendencies that on meds, but honestly if counting the squares on the floor, ceiling, couch, chair or whatever is the worst of it then I can live with that. He’s not hurting himself or doing much of anything that he was doing when he came home from the hospital last year, so that’s alright too. God has him where he is for a reason.

That’s what makes for frustration… I want so badly to ask God why he let this special, intelligent, amazing child be hurt the way he was. So profoundly damaged that even with the best of care he’s still an 8-year-old in a 16-year-old body. But I know that asking Him why won’t help, because generally the “why God’s” don’t get answered. He knows why, but right now it’s not for me to know. I know he’s here to teach me patience and unconditional love. Because lets face it, lesser women than me would have run screaming from the scene a LONG time ago. But God placed this precious child in my hands for a reason, and I need to help him to the best of my ability. It’s just I don’t know if I have the ability. I know, I know – God never gives us more than we can handle, and it’s only by his Grace and love that I have managed to last this long.

I live my life by Romans 8:28: And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

I love God, and I know he has a purpose for putting me where I am right now, and that everything I’ve gone through in my lifetime has prepared me for this moment right here in time.  He has put me in this place, with these children for a purpose – His purpose.

I cannot wait to see the miracles to come as God works in not only my life but the lives of my family on this new stage of our journey. Though I grow frustrated, and feel downhearted at times, I need only to look up and know that my Father above is watching over me all the time.