Friday Confessional – May 3

Friday Confessional

So, Happy Friday!

It is time again to get on the Friday bandwagon and step into the confessional.

Today’s topic is going back to my younger days… because I want to make a statement here.

I have done drugs.

Hardcore, addiction bound, serious drugs.

My choice was Methamphetamine – and at one time I was up for nearly 2 weeks straight with only 2-3 hours a sleep every couple of days.

Yeah, I know, sad…

But I tell you that, to tell you this…

I got out. Obviously. No meth head has ever truly had the ability to seriously write… I know I never did.. not then.

I made my decision based on several factors – one of course was my then 7 year old daughter. I was not inclined to allow her to watch mommy murdered in the kitchen floor. (A story for another day for sure). Two… I was less inclined be be executed in cold blood by drug dealers that the ex was running from… Three… I was unhealthy, destined for death, and nearly on my last leg when I chose to get out.

I got up, bought a bus ticket, packed my stuff and moved to North Carolina from Florida. That was in 1997. I never looked back.

I will not tell you that it was “super easy” or that all I needed was a “change”. True, the change was very good. When I arrived at my Aunt G’s house I weighed in at a whopping 87 pounds… soaking wet in a giant robe. Yeah, meth has a way of stripping you down to nothing; mind, body, and soul.

I will tell you that even when presented with opportunities to do it again I have turned it down… every. single. time. Sometimes with a great deal of effort.

I will also tell you that the change was amazing. Within weeks I gained enough weight my cousin and his girlfriend deemed me “fit to work” and gave me a job. Within months I had my own home, a car and a great job. I worked for them for 18 months then took a job with Walmart.

I walked away and I have never ever looked back. I won’t look back. I see photos of myself back then… I look sick, sad, and unhealthy. Today I weigh in at a lovely 123 and I feel great. I know that there are long term effects that occur with sustained usage of methamphetamines – and I’ve already lost all of my teeth to prove that. I’m lucky I didn’t lose my life. There were many times in those days I thought that I would.

I understand how hard drug addiction is – I’ve been there and dealt with it for years. I also know that getting clean is a choice. Walking away is a statement that says “I’m tired of killing myself and I’m ready to start living”. You have to want itIf you have a problem, please get some help and get out of it. Dying for this shit isn’t worth it.

So… that’s my confession on this fine Friday… what’s yours?




2 thoughts on “Friday Confessional – May 3

  1. This is an awesome, powerful statement that we are privileged to read! Women who have come from dark places , survived, and turn their lives around have my utmost respect. Everything you’ve gone thru has made you who you are now, and you have much to be proud of, I know it hasn’t been an easy journey! Now you can use that strength and wisdom to help others follow the path to choosing life. Yay for you, this was an uplifting story, thank you for sharing it!

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