M is for Making it Work
Have you ever been in a situation where you just knew that the end result was going to be less than what you expected? That it just wasn’t going to work, no matter how hard you tried? I have too. I’ve been in many of those situations in my life honestly. And I spent many hours wondering how to make something unworkable, work.
In the grand scheme of things – if something isn’t going to work now, chances are its not going to to work later either. However, there is a chance that once things cool down, and objectivity is restored, you might get a new insight into making it work.
In relationships for example. Sometimes, remembering why you got together in the first place is a great place to start making it work. What were some of the things that attracted you in the first place? Chances are they’re still there – just hidden under layers of stuff we pile up in a relationship… its time to do some cleaning and find that stuff… it’s important.
That’s the most important thing I think, in making relationships work – your memory.
Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Remember those sweet special words whispered in private. Remember the little things that made you feel important.
But, making it work does take effort on your part. Relationships don’t just happen and stay intact. They require effort, time, and nurturing. If you put in only what you get out, you’re going to be disappointed. Go all out, make your partner feel like the most important person on the planet – because to you, they are. Don’t let let opportunity knock without answering the door.
You only live once, make it the best life you possibly can. Make it work!
With that said I have to answer a question I get all too often… How do you know when it’s just not going to work? I have a friend who left her husband of six years, moved from FL to IN and settled in her own place. She was unhappy, sick, too thin, and all out of sorts. She just knew it wasn’t working with her husband. For nearly a year they lived separate lives. But, then she got to thinking about things. How maybe, they really weren’t so bad. And she started talking to him. She explained why she left in the first place. They actually had deep conversations and over the course of a few months time realized that they really did love each other – they just didn’t like the way things were. They’re back together now, with no sign of divorce in the works. This is making it work.
She knew deep down, that it could work.
Trust your instincts. If you’ve continually tried to make it work, to no avail. Take a break. If you move on during the break, then it wasn’t right. If he moves on during the break you know it wasn’t right. But if you and he live through that break wishing, wondering, waiting for the other person… chances are you can make it work. This doesn’t always mean you should be together – if he/she is abusive, or controlling… get out while you can. Use your best judgement – don’t get caught up in a relationship simply to be in one. Be in the right relationship for the right reasons.
What do you do to “make it work”?