I is for Intelligence
Intelligence is the perception of knowing things. Being “smart” is often equated with intelligence. I find that some of us don’t see that we are intelligent about certain things. Not everyone can know everything; but everyone knows a lot about something. You and I are intelligent about something. Maybe it’s raising kids, cooking, gardening… something.
I have learned a lot about relationships, and people in general. I’ve learned a lot about life and how to live it to its fullest. Do I know everything? Oh hell no I don’t… not by a long shot – but I am intelligent about it.
What have I learned in my 30+ years of dating experience? Here’s a list of the top 5 things that increased my “Relationship Intelligence”:
- If it seems too good to be true – it probably is. This is just one of those “common sense” things (you would think), but I’ve met plenty of women who say “He just seemed so good that I couldn’t help myself”.
- If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t right. This one goes hand in hand with the above, but needed to be said. If you are in a relationship and something just doesn’t feel right… chances are that’s your “spidey sense” telling you that something’s not right. If you think there is a problem, chances are – there is.
- You can’t be “In Love” overnight. Y’all… I have heard of love at first sight… and in some ways I do believe in it. In the sense that you can like someone enough at the first meeting that you truly want to fall in love. But love is an emotion that takes time to build and nurture and you can’t find it in one day.
- Don’t rush – if it’s right, it will still be there tomorrow. So many women (and men) fall into this trap. You meet someone you think is just perfect for you… and you want to spend every waking moment with them. You want to get to know them now. I’ve learned that typically you can’t learn that much about a person doing this… anyone can be on their best behavior for a week or two… take your time, spend weeks and months learning about someone before committing long term.
- Don’t take anything for granted. Ever. If you think that your relationship can thrive when you aren’t putting effort into it – think again. Everything worth having/doing is worth effort. Great relationships don’t just happen. They require nurturing and effort. Put in the amount of effort needed to keep it happy, healthy, and lasting.
What have you learned from the good and bad relationships in your life? Any advice you’d offer to a younger you now?