C is for Changes
I don’t think that change is easy for anyone. We get comfortable, settled, and we want to stay that way. Whether it’s moving, having a baby, losing a loved one, divorce, separation, or a new job… change scares us. It’s the fear of the unknown… the “what if” that we have such a hard time handling.
I stayed in my relationship with the SO for ten years because it was comfortable. Things were mostly settled. We had a routine – and we were rooted in that routine. Things were in fact stagnant. Nothing was growing. Nothing was moving. Things were sour for lack of a better term.
It wasn’t until I went to visit my daughter and grandsons that I realized that I could breathe easier… I didn’t feel oppressed by everything around me – I felt relaxed and unencumbered. I hadn’t felt that way in such a long time, that I didn’t even realize it until my daughter noticed the difference in me after a few days at her house. She remarked that I seemed more relaxed than I had in forever.
It was then that I started to make the lists… advantages and disadvantages; pros and cons; likes and dislikes. I found that the negatives of staying in the relationship far outweighed the positives. I made a choice. I chose change.
I haven’t looked back, nor have I regretted it for one single moment. Do I miss the kids… yes, yes I do. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of Little Man and wish I could see or talk to him. In some ways I miss Our Girl too… and my heart breaks when I think of Our Guy out there in the world on his own… that boy just worries me.
I miss my friends who turned their backs on me because I made the choice to make a better life for myself.
But, I don’t regret it – because what I have gained from all of this far exceeds what I have lost. I have gained a newfound sense of self. I have regained my self-esteem. I have recovered my identity. I’ve got a great job… I’ve got wonderful friends who love and support me for who I am not who they want me to be. I have recovered my happiness – and y’all… just let me say right now, that alone is enough.
Life is too short to be unhappy. If major change is what’s required for you to be happy then I say jump; do it now – don’t wait. BE HAPPY – you deserve it!
What changes have you made in your life that made you happier? Changes you’ve regretted?