A is for Advantages
There are advantages to “staying put” or “blooming where you are planted”… truly there are. I know this, and yet in the grand scheme of things I chose wholeheartedly to decide against remaining rooted in once place. Mainly because when I weighed the advantages against the disadvantages, sticking around and living my life the same way I had been just didn’t make a lot of sense. “Do what you’ve always done… get what you’ve always got”.
The advantages, well let’s just say that was a short list. We were living with ‘friends’ so there wasn’t a house payment or anything per say so financial status was an advantage. I was in a “comfortable” relationship… you know like the one you have with a brother or sister after you grow up and realize that it was you who mom really loved best all these years? That kind of comfortable… There were the kids, especially the youngest. And of course my sweet beloved doggies… Grace and Footnote.
Looking on the other side of the page at the disadvantages I realized that I really wasn’t happy… I was constantly met with hostility from the girl child formerly referred to here as “Our Girl”; my authority with her was consistently undermined and because of that there was no respect. I had no control over the financial aspect, given that it wasn’t my house – and was rarely even given a say in what groceries were bought, what was cooked for dinner; that sort of thing – for someone used to being in total control of every aspect of running a house – that was a hard one. I slept in the same bed with my SO but that’s all that went on there, and I was good with that – I was not attracted to him that way at all (see the whole “brother” reference above). It was comfortable, but strained. I was made to feel guilty because I didn’t want to “do it”. I had little to no social life outside of the four walls of the house. It was crowded, and to be honest – dirty (something I was not at all used to). There was constant bickering, arguing, and general stress.
So – yeah… leaving had some definite advantages. One of the things I’ve learned over the course of these last few months is that life is too short to be unhappy… it’s also too short to just be “comfortable”. Life should be lived to its fullest extent each and every day. You never know when your last day will come. We are not promised a tomorrow, only today – and I for one cannot just sit by and let that pass me by… it’s not worth the heartache of waking up one morning and realizing that life is nearly over and you are left behind.
Live your life, embrace it. Make the changes you need to make to create the best life you can for yourself; don’t let your future slip away because you’re comfortable in your circumstances.