This is the fourth in a series of five posts based on Mama Kat’s workshop prompts this week. And I have to shout a huge thank you to her for this weeks inspiration, it’s really hitting home at a great time.
Trust: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.
You know guys… I have trusted some real characters in my life. I have trusted men who said they would do anything for me, that would do nothing. I have trusted women who said they were only interested in my friendship and wound up destroying things very dear to me. I have trusted drug dealers, evil doers, and thieves.
The one thing/person I was never able to fully trust was myself.
I have never been able to rely on my character, strength, or ability. Until now.
This is a lesson I am learning now… and one that’s not easy. I have to trust my ability to find work, get transportation and make a new life for myself… alone. I’ve never done that before – someone has always been there to pick me up if I fell; husbands.parents, boyfriends, friends… always have they been around to keep me on my feet. Now if I fall on my face – I have to be the on to pick myself up… scary because I don’t trust myself not to leave me lying there on my face.
I’m learning – and I’m taking small steps toward the goal of fully loving and trusting myself each and every day.
I have to remember always that life is a journey not a destination. I must live each day to its full potential and not waste one moment because you never know when a moment may be your last. I must learn to love and trust myself to make good decisions for my future.
For today… that’s all I can do.