Whew!


Once again it’s been a week or so for us around here!

I started work on the first and it’s been crazy every since!

Lets see, our Thanksgiving feast went well. It was awesome having my daughter here and my grandson. It was really special. The only thing that would have been better would have been if my oldest daughter had been here… and of course my son. Yes, he lives here – but for the first time in 12 years he spend a holiday with his father… I know, crazy! It has been several years, five I think, since we saw him last… His baby sister was still a baby and this was her 7th birthday. They spent 4 days together, and he had a great time!

Now a quick confession. This post was started on December 8… and I’m sititng at work trying to get it finished up between phone calls!

I tell you, it’s been just crazy around here!

I do have a tree up, and its really pretty! Our friend J had a huge tree stored away that she wasn’t using so we have it now. It needed a new home, and found one at my house! It’s all blue and silver and sparkly and I love it!

The only thing that would make my week better would be if the kids were here with the baby. Unfortunately, they’ve gone to Kentucky for “Christmas”. They are supposed to be back at home on the 23rd… but I’m so not holding my breath on that. You see, my daughter talked to me night before last – and apparently he is applying for a seasonal job there… If he gets the job, they’ll come home on the 23rd long enough to pack and then they’re going back to KY for a few months. If not they’re coming home.

Ya’ll I’m going to tell you now that this has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I had to put on my big girl panties and deal with it. I had to tell my daughter that if that’s what was best for her and her family then she had to do it. I had to put aside my feelings and let her live her life.  I had to tell her to make a choice regardless of how I felt. I had to tell my baby girl to hurt my feelings… because that’s what is best for her. I have to show some strength and fortitude ya’ll… cause I’m going to break down when they come to pack if he gets this job.

My heart is broken. I won’t have my grandson for Christmas… even though I was promised he would be with me on Christmas day. I have to be a grown up, when what I really want to do is throw myself on the floor and have a temper tantrum… kicking feet and all. Supposedly, I’ll be on Video chat with them when he opens his gifts on Christmas morning… but I won’t get sweet baby kisses and hugs. I won’t have the joy of watching him put aside the toys to put the box on his head… or any of the other things that will make up the first Christmas he’s old enough to enjoy.

I have treasured every moment I’ve had him with me… but I feel like I should have been more selfish with him. Kept him closer to me… but then I never thought I’d lose him this fast.  I have never in my life wished for someone NOT to get a job… ever… but I almost find myself wishing for this one to fall through.

I know better… whatever will be will be. Things will work out the way they are intended to work out… and there really isn’t anything I can do about it.  That knowledge however does NOT make it any better.

On a brighter note, I do really love my new job. It’s awesome. Which reminds me, I’m going back to work. LOL

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