Just so everyone knows, the below post is now a mute point! We are no longer in danger of being grandparents again any time soon!
So, most of you know – if you’ve been around for a while, that I was a teenage mom. My oldest daughter was born just two weeks before my 18th birthday. I blogged about it as a guest post, and am sharing the link here.
Well, dear readers… it seems that quite possibly, history is doomed to repeat itself.
You see, Our Girl has come to me this week… and she thinks she might be pregnant. If she is… we’ll be expecting another grandchild in July or so.
Ya’ll I cannot tell you how heartbroken I am. She and A have been together almost 2 years now… and I have not deluded myself at all in thinking that the weren’t having sex. She and I have had the talk many, many, many times. So many in fact that she practically has everything I am going to say memorized.
She’s heard it all, chapter and verse, on why she should wait. Why she should save herself for marriage, or at the very least adulthood. But, alas, as in many situations with know-it-all teens, it fell on deaf ears. And now… well, now we could have some serious changes to make.
I’m worried. I’m upset. I’m freaking out. I’m brokenly disappointed. I have had a ‘mom fail’ reach up and slap me in the face. Yep, I’m blaming myself for this. Of course I know it’s stupid. I’m not the one having sex. (No, seriously – I’m not). But, I can’t help but think… what if.
Did we mess up by letting her start dating at 16? Did we not put enough emphasis on abstinence? Did we not tell her often enough that she didn’t need validation through sex, that any boy worth having was worth waiting for? Did we not give her enough information on how dangerous it is to have sex at her age?
And you know guys, the answer to all these questions is a negative ghost rider. We did do our jobs as parents. We took every precaution. We talked to both of them. We did what we could, and apparently, she had a mind of her own (WHO KNEW??).
Now I’m living with the kind of guilt I think my mother must have felt when I got pregnant with Kyla. I know what it feels like now to have everything that we have worked so hard for come falling down around us. I know how disappointed and heartbroken my mother must have been. And ya’ll? It flippin hurts. I really feel like a complete and utter failure as a mom.
But… now that the cat is out of the bag… and everyone (except Our Guy) in the house knows… we’re accepting it.
Life doesn’t have to end because of this… it just got a whole lot harder.
Her hopes and dreams do not have to be totally smashed, but they will be much harder to obtain. She’s going to have to work 20 times harder than any of the other girls her age to obtain what she wants out of life. She’s going to have to learn a whole set of life skills that she’s not really prepared to learn.
What are we going to do? Well, really and honestly, we’re just going to do what we do. We will support our daughter and A. We will hope desperately that when the test results are read (we have 3 more days till we can take one) that it’s a big fat negative. But if it’s not – well, then we’re gonna be grandparents again, and will act accordingly. We will get excited about this, we will buy cute clothes, bottles, and a diaper service. We will teach parenting skills as we go. We will do everything in our power to make her pregnancy memorable, and a good experience for them. What we won’t do is take over. We are not going to parent. We are not going to let them get married. We are not going to “take over”. We are not going to throw her out.
Yeah, this really is my life… why do you ask?