The Taming of the Bees or Redneck Bee Removal 101

Last week I posted a quick note about finding some honey bees (so we thought) in our shed. We were certain the we didn’t want to kill the bees, Lord knows that honey bees are dying too fast anyway. However, we are trying to sell this house, and it would be  a REAL plus if we could actually allow people to walk into the outbuilding. I called around to some local beekeepers  Ya’ll do you know that it costs $300 to have them come to your house and remove the bees, EVEN when they’re getting a queen?  Ummm… ok – that’s so not gonna happen. I was still determined not to kill them if at all possible – well, not only that, but we just don’t have the money to go get a can of bee spray.

Today we decided that we really needed to work on moving the bees out of the shed and toward the woods. We planned (I say we, but this was really the brain child of my hubs and oldest son) to attach a long line to the computer tower we assumed they were nesting in, and pull it to the back of the yard. We figured it would piss them off, but not hurt them and get them out of our shed. Of course, ideas such as this are ALWAYS easier said than done…

It started out pretty innocently:

See that bee? I should have KNOWN something was not honeybeeish about it

So the boys decided to begin by attaching a long cable with a hook on the end to grab the tower and yank it out, hopefully bringing the hive out too.

The yellow string is attached to a wire hook and on the other end is my hubby ready to pull.

So, they pulled… and the case didn’t budge. So, hubs decided to get a big stick and push the case on the left out of the way some to free up the one we thought the bees were in:

Poking it with a stick!

Now the tower is out of the way, but the bees are really, really pissed!

Pissed off bees - not good!

Next, the other tower had to move. We really thought the bees were in the tower, really we did. So we figured (and we’re still thinking these are honey bees) that we’d just snatch the tower, pull it to the wood edge and leave it there.

Hmmmm… does anyone find this as humorous as I do? I hope so, because by this time I’m laughing my butt off. Now, at this time I must let you folks know that I am seriously, devastatingly, horribly allergic to bees. I mean, take me to the hospital NOW allergic to bees. Except for honey bees –  never had a problem with them, so while I’m still assuming these are in fact honey bees, I’m all over getting pictures of this incredibly funny event taking place in my yard.

Hubs though is not as convinced as I that honeybees are not an issue for me, and sent me in the house for the “pulling of the tower” because he’s pretty sure they’re just gonna come flyin out of there like fighter pilots on patrol. So that part got missed.

However, once the tower was moved we made an interesting discovery… no bees. Ummm… so where are the bees?

Well here’s the first hint:

The Sentries are poised for attack!

Yep, now we’ve discovered they’re under the box… they were just using the space between the computer towers as a method for getting in and out from under the box.

Ok, so now we have a BOX of bees, or so we hope… Next up – figure out how the heck to get the box out of the shed. My sons idea was tie a brick to the line and toss it in the box, thereby weighting the box down and enabling them to pull it out without tearing the box.  The hubs decided instead to use his Black and Decker drill… yes, I did say that. Yes, he DID do that. He tossed the drill (tied to a line) into the box and yanked.

Again, the hubs sends me inside, because he’s SURE this time the bees are going to go batshit crazy and attack ME. Of course, with my luck – they probably would have.

I come back out to find this:

Bottom of the box, with remnants of a bee hive. Totally NOT a honeycomb!

Yep, at this point I realized that while being all brave taking up close photos of honeybees, I was actually taking photos of bees that could very well KILL me. I was determined, though, to finish the photo story – because ya’ll this was becoming too comical.

NOW we know where the bees are!

Home for Wayward Bees

Yes, that is one half of a $185 pair of leather boots. Yes, the bees are IN the boot, ON the boot, and around the boot.

So now the fun really starts – we gotta figure out how to get the boot out of the shed. My hubs – being the redneck that he is decides once again to employ Black and Decker to get the job done. So, with drill tied to line, he tosses it over the boot and drags. Unfortunately all he got was this:

Yes, that's a lot of plastic filled with pissed off bees.

The plastic was behind the boot – and when the drill hit — it hit the plastic so it got pulled over the nest, then out FULL of bees.

Hooboy – this is when we really realized that we were NOT dealing with honey bees. Although when I said those are totally NOT honeybees, the hubs said oh yeah – those are honeybees. Then he got to looking at them, and decided in the end that yeah – I was right these are NOT honey bees – these are Yellow Jackets… a much meaner, nastier, and allergy producing bee.

The next hit with the drill produced this from the shed:

Nest of bees on the ground... yet still NO bees have left the shed.

So this is part of the nest, but still the bees are crazily swarming in the shed… apparently the queen was NOT in this part of her nest. My son totally came inside to Google “Yellow Jackets” and find out if they indeed had a queen and if they would follow her when she left – answer? Yep… so we knew we didn’t have her out yet. Nope, what we had now was a shed FULL of pissed off bees looking for something to sting…

Did you know that yellow jackets sting repeatedly???

So in goes Black and Decker again… and OFF pops the battery – OUT comes the boot! Finally!!!

Ya’ll – I cannot tell you how much fun this really was, because I’m still laughing too hard.

This is what my yard looked like after the boot came out:

All of this was pulled with Black and Decker!

Another thing my son discovered on Google – yellow jackets do not like water… so once the boot came out, we filled it with water:

Water goes in... bees wash out

This is what washed out:

Yeah... larva and bees... ick

This is what we found INSIDE the boot:

Still live bees in here... even after the "drowning"

Then my son set to work removing the nest from his boots, because when you pay $185 for boots – you totally don’t want to wear them with BEES inside.

And this my friends – this is the remainder of the bee nest:

Notice all the black spots... that's leather ya'll...

So not only did the bees build a nest in the boot, but they used parts of it for their nest.

So there you have it folks – Redneck Bee Removal 101

Happy Thursday! Stay tuned – 30 Day Blog Journal returns tomorrow!


7 thoughts on “The Taming of the Bees or Redneck Bee Removal 101

  1. Oh honey. You and your boys. Was Sticky there for the festivities? Glad everyone survived and there were no trips to urgent care or the hospital involved. 🙂 By the way, you and never told me you had a blog! I have to go through and read it now. 🙂

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention The Taming of the Bees or Redneck Bee Removal 101 « Magimom's Mom Stuff --

  3. LOL, this is hilarious and I’m glad you weren’t hurt during the process! Especially being allergic! That is absolutely crazy on how they just expand their territory!

  4. Oh my god you are insane!!!! Yellow Jackets are mean mothers indeed, you guys were blessed to be unscathed. Craziness!!
    Stopped by from SITS to say Hi!

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